My “EDD” (estimated due date) was April 30th, 2020. Earlier in my pregnancy I thought it would be great, and I even had some anticipation, to give birth on my maternal grandmother’s birthday, which was May 5. But as time grew nearer, I knew my baby would choose to have an April birthday. I literally saw the dates “29” and “30” in my mind. It’s like the little guy inside of me spoke to me, and told me when his birthday would be.
Today could be the day.
When I awoke on 4/29/2020, I had a strong sense that things were going to start happening. I sent a text to my mom and to my husband letting them know my feeling. Around 2:00pm that day, I began having regular contractions. After about an hour, I notified my midwife, but told her that she could wait a bit longer before heading over. A few hours later, around 6:15pm, my midwife had arrived. She set-up and organized her things in the living room, the space we had dedicated to be the birthing room. During the next couple of hours, my husband, midwife and I gathered around the kitchen island, sipped on some tea, and chatted about life.
First Stage.
Our home felt warm and cozy, and the smell of herbs progressively filled the atmosphere. Herbs that would continue to steep for the remaining hours until baby was born, in which we would then enjoy the much welcomed herb bath immediately following the birth. After hanging out and chatting for a while, I felt the intensity of my contractions begin to increase. I felt it time to go sit by myself, relax, and enter into my peaceful zone – where I could visualize and breathe, rhythmically, with each wave. Entering this zone has always been a tranquil experience for me. My body is able to relax, my mind goes to another place and therefore time seems nonexistent. During the first stage of this labor, I saw myself as a warrior woman grasping onto a low tree branch, squatting with each contraction. I envisioned myself in the woods while my body sourced it’s power from other women giving birth – like we were connected, supporting each other through the experience.
9:00pm came around and I told Jeremy that he could probably text my mom to come over. She arrived within a half hour, and upon her arrival, she came right over to me and offered her gentle, loving, touch. My mom, along with my midwife and husband, has been to all of my births. It felt good with her being there. I call the three of them my “A-team.” Together, they are an amazing support system, and each offers something wonderful to the birth experience. Over the next couple of hours, my A-team rested as much as possible, as the power in my body began to build more and more…baby was coming soon.
11:11
I’m pretty sure I was about 9cm at 11:10pm because I vividly recall Jeremy looking at his phone and saying, “Hey you might be able to make an 11:11 birth!” In which I was like, “yea right…haha!” (He had high hopes for that 11:11 birth though, legit.) Pressure began to increase in my low back and I was less comfortable on the couch where I had been sitting for the majority of labor, so I moved onto the birthing stool. The change in position felt better, along with Jeremy applying light counter pressure on my sacrum.
Right on time.
Before we knew it, it was time for me to deliver my baby. But not before I let a couple more contractions do some work, along with one good throw-up. I then took a few sips of Emergen-C for hydration and a boost of energy. First push – my bag of waters burst – the release felt so good. Second push – baby’s head was out while the rest of him was also hastily on it’s way! But first, through the guidance of my midwife, I strived for breath and panted, giving a little pause…and a moment later, another gentle push as my son came sliding out. What a joy!
Perfection.
A beautiful birth for this precious soul brought peacefully into the world. It felt so good! His cord was short, so I held him right on my pelvis. We all sat in awe of him and the experience in it’s entirety. My midwife then said a prayer of thanks and gratitude to God, for this perfect birth. After the cord was cut and the placenta birthed, I swiped frankincense over his forehead and said a silent prayer for my new son. Then, baby and I made our way to the tub for a nice long soak in our healing herb bath, prepared for us by my husband. We had an amazing day, in which the bath was the perfect ending.
One week later.
I’m writing this birth story a week postpartum, and already the birth seems so distant. Of course I remember the birth in vivid detail…I remember all my birth experiences in vivid detail. What I mean, and how I feel is, the more my body and my baby come into balance post-birth, the more it feels like this is always how life has been. That life without Roston did not exist. He has always been here. The anticipation and excitement of birth is now in the past, in which that reality is quite sad to me. The most intensely beautiful moments I could ever experience are now in the past. Maybe I long to linger in the ecstasy of birth. Maybe I want to avoid the demands of life outside of this joyful experience. Or maybe I want to hold on to this experience because it may be my last…
I am well aware of the waves of emotion that one may experience after childbirth. In my experience now, at this moment, I feel like I have heightened awareness of these emotional changes. I am grateful for my A-team, who not only offer fabulous birth support, but who advocate for my well-being. With their support, I was allowed to fully honor the healing process, so that I could acquire proper rest, nourishment and bonding with my baby.
I am forever grateful to be able to have had five amazing home births, all with smooth postpartum recoveries. However the healing process is certainly not over. It’s actually an endless journey – to nourish and love my body – so that I may best do the same for my sweet new baby, along with the rest of my family… and to be the happiest and healthiest version of myself that I could possibly be.
No better feeling.
Though I long to linger in the ecstasy of birth – as he grasps my finger with his hand, and I see his full head of dark-golden hair, his perfect ears, precious face, and sweet nursing lips – I know there is no better feeling in the world. Thank you God, for all of this.
