Personally, I had never considered another birthing option – home birth was the option.
At the age of nineteen, my (then boyfriend) now husband, and I were expecting our first baby. Though I was young and unexpectedly pregnant, I never doubted the birth experience that I envisioned for myself. I had an innate feeling that whenever I had babies, I would have them at home. It’s safe to say that I had this deep-seated feeling about birth because I was born at home, so naturally why wouldn’t I give birth at home as well? My husband, Jeremy, remained open and supportive of the idea of home birth, however he did have a few questions of concern for the midwife at our initial consultation.
His questions for the midwife were:
- How much experience to you have?
- What if something goes wrong?
- How much do you charge?
Fast-forward ten years, to where we are now expecting our fifth baby to be born at home, with the same midwife. We can tell you that her response to my husband’s initial questions exceeded his expectations. Home birth, for us, is undoubtedly the best, most natural choice we could imagine, and we are beyond grateful to have been blessed with the experience.
Maybe you’ve considered home birth for yourself.
In fact, there may be a list of pros vs. cons accumulating in your mind as you’re reading this. Aside from my personal home birth experiences, I have been involved in the birth world for the past five years as a birth doula. In my experience as a birth doula, I’ve only attended one home birth while the other births took place in a hospital. Though I will not say anything to degrade those experiences that I had as a doula, I will say there is a significant difference between birthing at home versus in a hospital. The take-away from the birth experience is only fair for the birthing mother to judge, and for everyone else to observe and discern. Every woman has the right to strive for a beautiful, peaceful, birth experience – and what’s most important is for the mother to know that she can achieve it. Whether birthing at home, in a birth center, or in a hospital, bringing life into this world is a beautiful thing and as the birthing mother you will walk away a wiser woman.
I have found that most of the time when speaking with other women, they are naturally drawn to the idea of giving birth at home, but….there’s often that “but…”
Some of the top reasons why expectant mothers don’t choose home birth:
- “I would love to have a home birth but my husband is not supportive of the idea.”
- “I would have a home birth but I’m not confident enough to be able to do it…”
- “… but what if there is an emergency?”
- “…but my insurance won’t cover it.”
Not to negate any of these concerns, because they are in fact worthy to be considered, and it is your birth experience – you are the one that ultimately has a say in how you would like your experience to be. (You, and God of course.)
However, if your birth experience is truly important to you (as it should be), it is valuable for you to explore all of your options, and ask yourself what it is that you truly would like to experience.
In the most perfect world, how do you envision giving birth?
Don’t let the word “but” hold you back from achieving the ultimate, most peaceful birth experience.
It is natural for you to be drawn to homebirth, because it is the most natural way to give birth. Intuitively you know what is best for you and for your baby.
Home Birth Testimony
When I asked my friend, Jamie, why she chose to give birth at home with a midwife her response was,
“At the time, I wasn’t as holistically minded as I am now, so home birth was not at the forefront of my mind. However, initially my husband suggested that we have a home birth, in which I thought his suggestion was coming from a place of financial concern because the cost of home birth was significantly less than that of a hospital. Therefore I pretty much disregarded his suggestion, and continued to go through the hospital setting.”
“However, I was about halfway through my pregnancy and had yet to actually meet my doctor. I felt a great lack of connection and care, and started to become frustrated with the entire process. I confided in my massage therapist about how annoyed I was with the lack of support I was receiving through the medical system, and she suggested that I look into a home birth. She knew someone in the area who had a midwife attend their births at home, and suggested that I speak to them for the referral. Once we gained the midwife’s contact information, we met with her and instantly had a connection! The rest is history! We had three amazing birth experiences at home, and couldn’t imagine doing things any differently.”
“I have since attended a friend’s hospital birth, and though there were no serious complications, all I can say is the experience was completely different. My friend wasn’t displeased with the outcome of the birth, which was good. But having experienced birth at home for myself, in a peaceful, calm environment, there is truly no comparison. I wish every woman would consider home birth, because to me, there is not better way.”
What if your significant other objects your home birthing dreams?
Often times the husband/partner is simply seeking valid information on potential birth scenarios, and needs reassurance that home birthing is legitimately safe. Keep in mind your partner’s concern is most likely coming from a place of love, because they care about you and your baby. However, their concerns may also be coming from a place of fear, as may your own concerns.
When making any decision, I encourage you to do the research to acquire facts, but mostly to trust your body and your inner wisdom. Do not make decisions based on fear. It is your birth. Your intuition is stronger than any outsider’s “logical” explanation. If having a home birth is important to you, if it is your natural choice, if your inner voice is saying, “Yes, this feels right.” Then go with that feeling.
There is a plethora of valid information available to satisfy most concerns, which covers a wide range of statistical analytics on the safety of home birth, ways to prepare your birth space, how to find a midwife…etc. Analytics are not a personal strength of mine, therefore I typically lean towards the most natural option available – which is generally discovered through following my intuition.
I encourage you to tap into, and to trust your intuition too!
Do not let fear hold you back from having the birth experience of your dreams!
“We are the only species of mammal that doubts our ability to give birth. It’s profitable to scare women about birth.”
Where and when did doubt/fear around birth originate?
Traditionally, women were the lay healers and midwives in their communities. Centuries ago however, traditions began to take a turn.
In short, between the fourteenth and seventeenth centuries, millions of women were murdered throughout Western Europe. You may better recall learning about these persecutions as the infamous “witch trials” or “witch hunts.” Women, who were referred to as witches, were murdered – whether they practiced healing modalities, midwifery, or simply rebelled against the rise of patriarchal force. This “witch-craze” took place while European medicine was becoming well established. The newly founded medical profession remained active in the elimination of female healers. Through these horrific acts, fear had spread throughout Europe, as women healers and midwives were being eradicated. Eventually, elite, university-educated men took over as prominent doctors, thus firmly establishing the medical industry. This standard of health care eventually flooded over to the United States. As medicine and education progressed in the US, some wealthy men, (the Carnegies and Rockefellers,) saw a lucrative business opportunity and worked to great efforts to run private health practices and lay healers out of business; where uneducated, lower class men, people of color, or women were not deemed suitable to uphold a worthy health practice. Thus, creating a monopoly.
Through power and money, their efforts worked.
Though we already know, at times can benefit from a reminder, that birth is one of life’s most natural processes. It is truly a beautiful thing to witness and to experience. As we have seen however, through the centuries of patriarchal corruption, the nature of the birth experience was slowly stripped away from us along with the suppression of the female energy. With the up-rise of male doctors taking over the health care system and obstetrics, many unnatural practices took place while a woman was giving birth. Some of these practices were for the sake of “modesty,” or for the ease of the doctor, and most of these practices were experimental. As women put their faith in the hands of the doctor to deliver their babies – instead of trusting their body’s own capability and power, or by tapping into that feminine energy which is necessary in the creation of life, and having faith in the natural process – the birthing experience became more and more denatured, and women began to doubt and fear the birthing process.
[If the history of birth is a topic that intrigues you, I do recommend looking into it further. Birth is an important topic, not one to be discarded. When we remember how things used to be, before the patriarchal influence, we are more likely to re-establish the traditional wise-woman ways, supporting each other as women, and peacefully give birth the way we were meant to. A quick read that I recommend is Witches, Midwives, and Nurses – A History of Women Healers by Barbara Ehrenreich and Deirdre English.]
You Can Birth Your Way
The hope of this writing is to remind you of your capability. To remove any doubts or fears that may linger around the idea of giving birth. The hope is to encourage you to tap into your God-given feminine energy, thus bringing a greater sense of balance to the world. Ultimately, the hope is for you to trust the birthing process, and for you to fully embrace the experience – peacefully and joyfully, as you were meant to.
Once you remember your power, tap into that inner wisdom and allow it to guide you, every step of the way.
How might this alter your decision making process?
When it comes time to decide hospital vs. home birth, what will you decide?
Whatever the decision may be, it will not be made based on fear. It will be a decision made with confidence and wisdom… and the best decision for you.
